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Monday, 15 March 2021

My Bitter-Sweet Week.

Hi there my friends.
How are you all?
Thanks for staying with me, I've had such a bitter-sweet week and took a few days away from social media to collect my thoughts.
You may have read about my past week, having had to say a tearful farewell to my darling little dog Roxy and also welcome my new little grand-daughter too.  I also had the pleasure of looking after my grandson whilst his mum and dad were in hospital.  It's been a roller-coaster ride for sure and I have been emotionally drained.
My little dog has been around for nearly 16 years and I remember the day she arrived so clearly.....


My best friends 40th birthday resulted in me having a few too many drinks on the Sunday of her party.  Feeling, how shall I put it, a little jaded the next morning.  I was so ill my hubby had to take the children to school.  I spent most of the day in bed nursing my poor head and upset tummy!  
I surfaced late afternoon and managed to pick the children up from school.  Our first dog Candy decided that day to give birth to five darling little puppies, one boy and four girls.  My husband helped her birth them, and by the end of the evening all pups were settled in bed with mum.  
My kids fell in love with them all, enjoying the cuddles and play dates in the garden chasing them around.  They loved watching them grow and helped feed them and clean up after them.  They wanted to keep all of the little beauties, "can we keep them all" came their cries!  I didn't really want to keep any but gave in and kept the second born Roxy.  She was named after Roxie Hart from Chicago - a favourite musical we all loved to watch.


So it was decided, in the blink of an eye and an affirmation from mum and dad we went from a family of 7 with one dog to family of 7 with two dogs!
The years that followed were brilliant.  We walked the dogs and played with them and their toys.  I took them in the car on the school runs and everyone would make a fuss of them.  As the children grew up and got engrossed in other pastimes the dogs became my fur babies.  They would sit either side of me on the sofa - sort of like a straight-jacket!  They loved being right by my side, but didn't always like each other - lol.
Over the past couple of years it became more and more obvious that Roxy was suffering with dementia like her mum had.  At the beginning it wasn't too noticeable but gradually we noticed she had become deaf and found it hard to settle.  
Roxy would walk round and round in circles, she would wear us out just watching. On the other hand once in the garden she'd sprint about in the garden jumping around like a puppy!  We began to notice her back legs weren't as strong and wouldn't hold her up so she ended up sitting down.  It was so sad to see and I felt helpless for her.  I took her to the vets back in the Autumn, just to have a chat.  The vet said she wasn't in any pain and the toilet issues were our problem.  I understood and we carried on as we had been doing.  


I just didn't know how she felt and it was hard watching her get worse and not being able to help her. 
In the last month I would take her into the garden but when I picked her up to take her back in she would fight and try to get away, she didn't recognize even me.  That was when I decided that it might be 'the time'. 
The week before last I took her to the vets again, explaining all the problems and was very sad to hear the vet agreed with me that she wasn't able to be pacified and always looked frantic and fearful.


So last Monday was the day, it's hard to recall the awful situation I found myself in.  A decision that has left me feeling emotionally upset and empty.  I have to say the vet and her veterinary assistant were amazing, they treated us and Roxy with utmost respect and handled the situation brilliantly.  It was such a sad time that had all the family in tears.  Roxy had to be sedated before they could put a drip in - this was because of bloody Covid!  She fell into a peaceful sleep and was the most settled and relaxed I'd seen her in a long time.  This has given me immense relief as I know she's not suffering anymore.
It's one of the hardest decisions I've had to make so I've decided I won't be getting another dog as I can't put myself through all those emotions again.  
Have you had to make an awful decision like this?  It's so difficult isn't it?
We buried Roxy in our garden alongside her mum, we've planted a tree to mark where they are and I've bought some Forget-me-knot seeds and daffodil bulbs to make the area pretty too.  I have lots of memories and a few pictures and videos to recall my little fur baby. X
Now my week does have a positive side,  my new grand-daughter Autumn Joyce arrived a couple of days later.  She's like a little doll, so tiny and petite I immediately fell in love with her and I know she's going to go a long way to fill the hole little Roxy has left. 💕





Thank you so much for joining me on the blog.  I really do love having you hear, it really cheers me up.
Do come back on Thursday for the #LINKUP
Bye for now. X

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16 comments

  1. I know all too well what you've been going through, having said goodbye to our 13-year old cat Phoebe just over a month ago. Your head knows you've made the right decision, but your heart ... well, that's a different matter, isn't it? I'm so sorry for your loss.
    On the other hands, many congratulations on the birth of your grand-daughter, Jackie! xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's such a hard decision isn't it! I know it was the right one and she is now at peace, but I miss her so much. My little princess has filled some of the hole already. xx

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  2. I am so very sorry, Jacqui! I have had to make the same decision, but for a young cat that ended up with a systemic fungal infection. Sammy was only two. But like you, we reached a point where we knew he wasn’t going to get better, and it was kinder not to let him suffer any more.

    Roxy was a lucky puppy. It sounds like she was able to live her best life with you. Hugs, my friend.

    Michelle
    https://mybijoulifeonline.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many thanks for your support. Sorry to hear about your young cat too. They stay in your thoughts for ever don't they. x

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  3. Oh! And congrats on your new granddaughter!

    Michelle
    https://mybijoulifeonline.com

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  4. I don't have a dog, but can imagine how much they are an integrated part of your whole family and that their death feels like a huge loss of life to you all. As much as they immense joy the birth of your new granddaughter has brought on her recent arrival. Congratulations to all your family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's such a hard time for us all, people say it's only a dog, which is true but she was my dog. Thanks for your support. x

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  5. Hello, Jacqui-when I saw the photos, I innately knew what you were going through. I lost both my "glorious old lady Poodles (Sophia & Millie) last year. Sophia had dementia like Roxy. She also was blind and deaf at the end. It was the hardest thing for me to let her go and I probably let it go on much to long. Our daughter is a veterinarian so we kept it all in family.Your experience is how Michelle does it too. It's very peaceful at the end, but doesn't keep you from hurting. I still miss Sophia tremendously. She was one of those "dogs of your life".

    I miss Millie too. I rescued her at about age 10 from a Puppy Mill. We think she developed a brain tumor and we couldn't control her seizures. It was a bad year all around-Covid time and losing my girls.

    But Michael and I are crazy dog people and always have to have them in our life, future heartbreak and all. I feel for you and am very sorry because I know how hard that decision is to make and how very hard those last few minutes of saying goodby is. Take care, Terri

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  6. Oh, and congratulations on getting a new granddaughter! How wonderful.

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  7. I'm so sorry for your loss, Jacqui - this must have been awful for you. Our animals are our family, it's awful when they get poorly, for everyone.
    Your sadness will be mixed with joy at the arrival of your baby granddaughter. Congratulations to you and all your family. xx

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  8. I'm so sorry Jacqui. Pets are part of the family and making that decision is so hard. You gave Roxy the best life and I know how much you miss your sweet pup. Thinking of you and sending a big virtual hug. Congratulations on the arrival of your granddaughter! That is wonderful news!

    Jill - Doused in Pink

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  9. I am so sorry to hear about your sweet pup, Roxy. I have been through this as well and it's really, really tough. Sending you lots of love and also congratulations on your granddaughter. It truly has been an emotional roller coaster of a week!

    -Katie
    http://www.hellokatiegirlblog.com/

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  10. Feel your pain Jacqui. Our pets are part of the family and it's devastating when they die. You did the right thing with Roxy, a lot of people refuse to recognize when it's the right time and their animals suffer. I have all this to come with poor old Molly, my cat, who's 17 x

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  11. Oh what a rough week for you! I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Roxy, that must have been so hard for you!

    Thanks so much for joining the #WeekdayWearLinkup!

    Away From The Blue

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  12. Jacqui, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved Roxy. That is one incredibly difficult decision to make. I have had many of my feline fur babies depart much too early and have had to make this decision on more than one occasion. Sending you lots of virtual hugs along with a big congratulations on the birth of Autumn Joyce! What a wonderful blessing for you all. Thank you for sharing your story and linking with me.

    Shelbee
    www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    ReplyDelete

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